Since the new year, dieting and exercise commercials dominated our viewing screens. The pressure to “fix yourself” is in full swing. But the perfect exercise routine isn’t a destination to the ultimate fitness utopia. At the very least, if you’ve been active in some way for most of your life your body might reward you for it. But life always has a way of sending us back to the sidelines.

After bruising my ribs during a fall, my usual exercise routine came to a stop. Lifting my left arm over my head or twisting my waist was excruciating. For me, the start of the year meant avoiding as much pain as possible. While watching TV, the “new-year-new-you” commercials interrupted my shows constantly. Every year it’s the same.

Fitness ads tell us that the product they’re selling will give us everything we want out of life. The now-famous stationary bike company is the latest example. The machines are expensive and membership for video classes is extra. The ridiculous hype is so obvious as they try to make customers feel they’re getting more for their high-priced soon-to-be dusty clothes rack. The sweaty actor’s gregarious yell of satisfaction while feverously peddling could be mistaken for an adult movie.

The “if I can do it, you can do it” mantra forgets about life’s uncertainties and ignores individual levels of physical ability and motivation. Maintaining a fit body doesn’t happen in a vacuum. This generalization fails to meet folks where they are and instead encourages conformity to unrealistic fitness stereotypes. Any advice in commercials is just a sales pitch.

The fitness industry wants you to believe that you have total control over aging, body shape, and uncertainty. If you are sick and tired of being told how to look, here are three grounding perspectives against the hype and pressure to conform to be someone you’re not.  

Aging is a fact of life, not a failure

The fountain of youth has been for sale since the beginning of time. Regular exercise can help you move and feel better and there is science proving its benefits. But the promise of adding years to your life is ridiculous since tomorrow is promised to no one. Hoping for a better future only squanders the present. You’ll be a different person every decade you’re alive and you have every opportunity to reinvent yourself. Getting older can be as good or as bad as you make it. Physical fitness doesn’t have to be grueling and regimented unless you like that sort of thing. But I’m betting most of you don’t and your body will appreciate exercise at a more leisurely pace.

Accept and love your mind, body and soul, faults, and all

It’s okay if you’re not an athlete or live in the body of one. Running on a treadmill for an hour at full speed isn’t for most folks. Sometimes going outside to walk while enjoying the sunshine and fresh air will be all you need. If you don’t have a competitive spirit, does it make sense to push yourself? What you don’t enjoy you won’t do, period.

Starting an exercise regimen to change how you look won’t last. In the beginning, you might believe you have all the willpower to keep it going. But after a while, you’ll realize keeping up with the workouts is difficult. Results can take months. Building and maintaining muscle requires dedication that doesn’t fit the average lifestyle. In my experience, most folks don’t have time to spend all day in a gym or can afford a personal trainer most days of the week. I know don’t. As you get older maintaining that gym membership becomes more difficult.

Since more of us are living longer, the fitness industry pressures women to maintain a thin ideal even after 50. Menopause and weight gain are a natural part of aging, but they want you to believe it’s within your control if you buy their product. But it’s not all in your control, and no one ages in the same way. It used to be when women got older, they became more confident and accepting of themselves. But now the trend is the older you get the goal is to prove how young you can be.

You might end up back at the starting line… and that’s okay

Meet yourself where you are today. It might mean running a quarter mile when you used to run 10 miles or lifting 5 pounds instead of 20 pounds. Pushing your body to do more than it can handle is useless and leads to injury and self-deprecation. Ditch the all-or-nothing approach. Start with an exercise your body can do without feeling any pain. After a while choose a different movement and then do the same. When you build confidence, challenge your body to do more. Remember there will be days when you don’t have the motivation and other days when you want to go for it.

Being on the sidelines can give you a new perspective. You now have the extra time to plan and do things you were putting off. It might be the excuse you needed to slow down a bit to realize where you are and where you want to go.

Body shrinking is the number one goal for a lot of folks starting January 1st. Imagine if New Year’s resolutions were more about where we want to be in life instead of something as superficial as looks. How different would your life be?

The perfect fitness goal is doomed to fail for a variety of reasons. Especially if you’re working out to lose weight or sculpt muscle. When the unexpected happens those goals are just not sustainable which is why folks end up in the same place at the start of the new year. They do the same thing year after year expecting different results. It’s madness.

What will you do the next time that stupid stationary bike ad comes on? Me? I’m going to hit the off button.