When everyone else’s way of doing things no longer suited me

April 12, 2024June 17, 2024 ~ Green Apple Dietitian ~ Leave a comment

My father died months before my high school graduation. Grief-stricken, the impatience inside me grew. High school classrooms and coursework no longer held my interest. As a good student who got good grades, there were no plans to take the SATs. No more learning. No more teachers, or so, I thought. I already had a job and was ready to go full-time; out of one cage and into another.

My concentration on my coursework waned. I felt trapped in an environment that no longer benefited me. I didn’t belong in school anymore. High school was for kids. Losing my dad at age 17 sped up the maturity process. During my last semester, my grades suffered. Luckily, I passed all my classes and graduated early— just barely.

As motivated as I was to leave school and get my diploma, there was no vision for the future. Freedom was in my sights, but I had no idea what to do with it. Untrained and undisciplined, I left one job after another feeling unfulfilled. My negative reactions to life’s difficulties only made things worse. Once again, I was feeling stuck.

In my youth, the people around me reacted to life instead of planning for it. When bad things happened, we felt the brunt of it. Unprepared, my mom went back to work at a factory to pay the bills after my dad died. She met him at a factory job before leaving the workforce to raise me, so she returned to the only thing she knew. If you don’t know something else exists, you won’t search for it.

I always wanted more from life, but I can’t tell you what “more” was. Desperate to avoid mediocrity, I attended college for a BA degree. There I learned more about myself and the power of education. Still, I was only going through the motions. I wasn’t all in.

After I earned my diploma, I still didn’t know where I was going. I still reacted to life instead of planning for it. The jobs I accepted after getting my degree were no improvement. I still wasn’t all in.

I was one of many out there who started without any big plans. I knew I wanted to be something and ended up a late bloomer. I made decisions on my own without asking for help. Which meant I took the scenic route instead of the major highway. At least I knew there was something different than where my life “wasn’t” heading.

Successful people always discuss having a vision and a plan for a meaningful life. I know many of us didn’t learn that at the starting gate. They didn’t have people in their lives that spoke life-changing words. But celebrating the little victories one step at a time can lead us into a better situation. There will be less blame placed on everyone and everything around us.

What are you doing that’s no longer useful?

March 15, 2024June 17, 2024 ~ Green Apple Dietitian ~ Leave a comment

Negative feelings are calling for your attention. They’re nudging you to take responsibility. Full responsibility. Something in your life is not right and needs to change. Change is difficult and it’s scary. When it’s the end of the road, it’s time to plan a new route. Will you go right, or will you go left? It’s all up to you. No matter what you decide a consequence will follow.

What are negative feelings telling you?

There’s comfort in staying depressed while complaining about your conundrum to others. When people give validation, it’s a never-ending cycle. It’s easier to avoid responsibility by blaming other people or circumstances. Your negative feelings might be responding to what you’re saying or doing to yourself or others. Or you won’t admit you’ve made a mistake. Self-reflection isn’t easy but it helps you learn how your actions no longer serve the world around you. When you understand more about yourself, you’ll act in ways that align closer to your core beliefs.

The best strategy to cope with negative feelings is to be courageous.

Get out from under the blanket of depression. Open your eyes. Stand up and stretch. Starting is the hardest part, but once the mind focuses on what to do the rest falls into place. Start small doing what is within your reach. Many small tasks will help you gain the momentum you need to change.

You might fear the repercussions of how you or others will feel in the short term. But eventually, it could be what turns the negative into a positive. What you fail to notice keeps you from going where you want to be.

Deep inside your mind you know the answer. You know what’s best beyond the chatter of advice spewed by others who are clueless about your journey. Owning your decision doesn’t mean you’ll convince others. Someone you care for might not understand. Getting away from negativity might mean discarding belongings, ending relationships, and moving out. Behind those actions is an uncertain future. The unknown keeps people stuck to whatever no longer suits them. Dare to get out of your comfort zone, and you’ll reap the rewards. You’ll learn how to deal with your negative emotions effectively.

Rigidity over the reason for change

February 23, 2024June 17, 2024 ~ Green Apple Dietitian ~ Leave a comment

Life can’t stay the same forever. Refusing to face the unknown makes for dull days while doing nothing squanders time. Rigidity breeds stagnancy, avoidance, and fear. Stagnancy often leads to trouble. Your brain becomes your worst enemy when there’s so little to do. Avoidance is like a dilapidated farmhouse that’s never attended to. Over time it falls to pieces. Fear talks you out of doing anything at all.

Embracing change slows the aging process. It gets you off the couch and out of your comfort zone. Change becomes natural for people who open their eyes to what’s possible. They never get bored because there is always something to do.