I can still hear Marie Osmond in an old weight loss commercial saying, “If I can do it, you can do it,” as pictures showing her before and after weight loss splashed across the screen. In another commercial, she said, “I’d almost given up on myself. I needed help. I was overweight and that was unacceptable.” Ever since I’ve witnessed hundreds of similar messages encouraging folks to dislike what they see in the mirror. What we see in our reflection isn’t just our body, it’s also our life story.
Marie was a celebrity endorsement as someone who lost weight using the same program. In her script, she made a promise to the TV audience that could never be fulfilled. The claim missed the mark in so many ways. The biggest one was that most of the audience didn’t live the unique lifestyle she did. It was a time when we didn’t know as much about nutrition as we do now.
Behind the phrase “If I can do it, you can do it,” is a living breathing human being. In her book Behind the Smile: My Journey out of Postpartum Depression, Marie discusses a busy and stressful childhood in show business. She led a life encouraged by the folks around her to do for others but never for herself. It’s not surprising to learn she eventually lost direction and needed to get help.
In her book, she talks about the time when women were expected to follow traditional roles while never discussing their troubles. Women were not only solely responsible for the household and raising children they were also pressured to maintain the perfect thin ideal by strictly managing their weight. For Marie growing up in the public eye, the criticism must have been magnified a thousand times.
You are not responsible for your body weight
It’s understandable if these words make you feel uncomfortable, or emotional as your brain tells you how wrong it is. Every one of us was born into the anti-fat mantra which over time has taught us to believe we are not allowed to gain weight. Ever.
As early as I can remember, I was a girl who compared myself to others. In sixth grade, I was taller than most other kids in class, even the boys. As an adult I still find my thoughts wandering into wishes that I was younger and smaller. But I remind myself of what’s outside my control, which helps me direct my thoughts to other important areas of my life.
I suspect the so-called obesity epidemic was engineered to focus on body weight for reasons other than public health. Newspaper advertisements, TV, social media, holistic alternative treatments, and even traditional medicine demonize it. There’s a gray area that science doesn’t have full explanations for. Particularly the rise in eating disorders.
Generalizations about ultra-processed foods, sugary drinks, and the lack of exercise remain at the top of the blame game, yet nothing has been done to reduce their availability. More of these options are available than ever before. Instead, full responsibility is pushed on the consumer left to their own devices to make decisions based on an overabundance of misinformation. Something doesn’t add up.
There are plenty of scientific studies proving that weight loss has health benefits. Yet with all the expert discoveries maintaining life-long weight loss isn’t sustainable. Successful studies usually end with test subjects losing weight while achieving a positive health outcome. However, I have yet to find any follow-up studies proving the longevity of the results and whether the subjects are still engaging in the behaviors that resulted in the positive outcomes.
Why are you not responsible for your weight? Because body weight responds to many factors other than just calorie intake. Stressors like working long hours, getting older, getting injured, having a chronic illness, taking a new medication, having a baby, starting menopause, becoming depressed and anxious after losing a loved one— you get the idea.
Body weight is not completely controllable by voluntary decisions to eat less and move more. Everyone’s metabolism is influenced by multiple factors. How our bodies digest food is not under our voluntary control. Unless you’re an elite athlete, exercise contributes about 30% to the total energy expenditure compared to the metabolic rate which is 60-80%. The thermal effect of food (digestion) accounts for another 10%.
Aging also comes with many biological factors outside of our control. All kids go through the tanner stages as they become adults that will then go through the aging process. In each stage of life, hormonal changes are involved, which no doubt, affect our body size. So, encouraging beliefs that we have complete control of how much we weigh is ridiculous.
You are, however, responsible for your choices
Here are my thoughts based on the experiences I’ve gained while helping folks improve their nutritional intake, not for weight loss.
When it comes to your body:
You are indeed responsible for your food and lifestyle choices. Your body weight responds accordingly to whether it receives adequate nourishment or is deprived of nourishment. It also responds to periods of activity or inactivity. There’s no doubt some actions promote health while others deteriorate it, e.g., adequate daily exercise vs. smoking cigarettes. Building healthy habits as early as possible benefits you in some ways as you get older.
When it comes to your mind:
Good health usually doesn’t happen for someone with a negative outlook. Self-improvement comes from a place where an individual can forgive themselves for their missteps and treat their body with kindness. When they give themselves credit for the things they’ve accomplished and what they’ve learned along the way. It happens when there’s more empathy for mistakes made because of what wasn’t known before. When they can get to a place where there’s less self-doubt and criticism and approach life with an open mind. No expert practitioner can make a patient healthier unless the patient can act upon the options given to them. But sometimes folks need to take care of other things before that can happen.
How to uncomplicate bodyweight
Life is much more than a simple input and output equation. To eat less and move more lacks the basic understanding of human nature. So why does this advice still come with high expectations of it being so life-changing? Paying more attention to where these messages come from can give us a better clue because they don’t always come from a place that benefits the receiver. As Marie Osmond described in Behind the Smile… advice from people around you can have all the good intentions but usually isn’t a one-size-fits-all-all. Especially when it comes to body weight.
So where do you start?
Take the focus away from your body shape, and instead focus on your hunger. The human body needs to refuel every 3-4 hours. Become more accepting of when you feel hungry then eat soon after. Don’t wait too long to feed yourself or skip meals. Even if you don’t feel your hunger cues, it’s still important to schedule meals around the same time every day. Everyone feels hungry in different ways, so give yourself time to discover what your hunger signals tell you. When you gain a solid understanding of your hunger you will eat more often when your body needs nourishment and less for other reasons.
Keep your body’s need for fuel a high priority and your will weight trend where it’s supposed to. At its healthiest for you. A body appropriately fed means, at least from a nutrition standpoint, your mind functions at its best. After a while, you will feel more positive about what you see in the mirror.
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